“Take heart, daughter, your faith has healed you.” Matthew 9:22
I would like to share with you what has been going on in my life since last Monday. It has been very interesting to say the least. I am currently reading C.H. Spurgeon’s Morning and Evening Devotional and last Monday’s was an eye, not to mention, an heart opener. His text was 2 Samuel 7:25:
“Do as Thou hast said.”
Pretty simple. Pretty brazen. And it hit home. God asked me to pray for my healing all day. I have prayed for this a lot, but certainly not every day. I have not been crying on the altar for quite some time. My first year I was at the altar all the time begging for deliverance and healing, now (three years later) I pray when it’s pretty painful or when it’s just been a rough day. So, I obeyed. What’s amazing is that when I shared with my husband about what God had asked, he said that he had a strong impression to pray for my healing that morning. God was up to something…..
All throughout last week I was praying. I was thinking about 2 Samuel 7:25, I even shared it with many people. Hey, if I’m going through something, I like to bring people along for the ride. No healing, but an assurance swept over me that I was doing what God wanted me to do. I kept praying. And praying.
Matthew 9:22 is the lock screen picture on my phone. I actually painted it on a card for someone who just had surgery. Before I gave it to her, I took a picture of it. So, every time I pick up my phone, there are those words. Jesus’s words. Words of promise. Words of hope. Words of healing. I clung onto them tenaciously. I walked about knowing that my God is hearing me. He does NOT turn a deaf ear to me. He is good, and what He does is good (Psalm 119:68). I had just a stillness and a peace that had settled over my spirit. Nothing outwardly had changed – it was all inwardly.
On Sunday, during church as we were singing the first song, I was strongly impressed, and felt God was asking me to go to the Prayer Room to ask for prayer for my healing. I serve in the Prayer Room once a month, so it is very comfortable for me. I know the people, and it’s a natural. I would have gone whether I knew the people or not – the impression was that strong. Some dear, sweet, very godly sojourners met me there and we prayed. They have actually walked with me in this. They knew my story. And they prayed. Such sweet prayers of confidence. Oh, it was good. It is good to know that I am not walking this journey alone.
After I got back into the service, we were singing again, and again God was talking to me. As we were settling in for the sermon, I passed a note to my husband that we needed to ask some other dear friends to pray with us directly after the service. What I didn’t know then, but know now, was that John was having doubt creep in about my healing. Our Pastor was just beginning to preach on that, and here comes my little note (shhhhh….don’t tell anyone I was passing notes in church!!! I did that as a little girl all the time – true confessions – I guess I haven’t changed much). God met John exactly where he needed it and it was a confirmation to him that we are to trust God. After an amazing sermon titled, “Designed and Restored”, in which Matthew 14:31 was preached on (among other verses) – “You of little faith, He said, “why do you doubt?” and “Get behind Me, Satan! You do not have in mind the concerns of God, but merely human concerns” (Matthew 16:23), we were led in a time of confession and repentance. I needed that time. I did confess that I doubted whether God was still in this affliction. I was not pushing Satan back as often as I could have. I even wrote in my notes a question next to Matthew 16 – “What are You telling me, God?” And I wrote that before the confession time. Then we had the aforementioned prayer time. What struck me the most was when everyone put their hand on me. It was timed in such a way that it was one after another, and I immediately had the thought – “Stamp of God.” It was good. Well, we prayed. But…..no healing. However, we each had a calm assurance that God was working.
I was sharing this story with someone yesterday and she just encouraged me to praise God now, for His goodness, for His faithfulness and for the healing yet to come. So, when the doubts started to creep in yesterday, I turned them into praise:
God, You and You alone are worthy of my worship.
God, You are good, and what You do is good.
Thank You Father God for my healing. Thank You for hearing me.
Jesus, You are an awesome Shepherd.
As I crawl up into Your lap YAHWEH, I thank You that there is always room and that You always have time for me, Your favorite. You never, ever push me away. You always look intently into my eyes as I gaze into Yours. You sing a new song over me as You stroke my tear-stained face. You love me with an everlasting love.
God, I love You no matter what. I will praise You if You heal me. I will praise You if You don’t.
Jesus, I know You are in this. I know You wanted me to pray for my healing because You wanted me at the altar. Because at the altar is where You are. With arms open wide.
Today is Wednesday. I am not healed. Well, not physically. But spiritually….that is another story. In this past week I got permission to come again and again to the throne of grace to commune with my heavenly Father about something that is very real in my life. He does not tire of my requests. In fact, He confirmed over and over again in His Word that what I am doing is of Him.
Paul looked directly at him, saw that he had faith to be healed and called out, “Stand up on your feet!" At that, the man jumped up and began to walk. Acts 14:9-10
Those who hope in Me will not be disappointed. Isaiah 49:23
Blessed is the man who trusts in the LORD, and whose hope is the LORD. Jeremiah 17:7
You will keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on You, because he trusts in You. Isaiah 26:3
These verses were given to me yesterday. My God is for me. My God hears. My God sees.
My God loves me. That is enough.
My God loves me. And that is enough.