Well. It happened. I am healed.
Let that sink in.
Yes, it is true. After four years and 6 days shy of eight months, I crossed a finish line. And I looked like I had run a marathon. I was one tired runner.
In my last post I mentioned a visit that I had with my doctor – the one where I was told to live with it. Let’s pick up the story from there…..
I emailed my chiropractor with this new information: live with it and here, take this medicine, even though I don’t know what’s wrong with you. He was shocked with these turn of events. He then recommended that I see the guy that trained him in visceral massage. Lino Cedros is his name. He has been helping people for about 40 years. I saw him on Monday July 16. What was amazing about that visit is that he had seen people with problems like mine!!!!!! I had been told that no one knew what was wrong and I had also been told that it was in my head. So, here we have Lino confirming everything I had been living with for so long. He didn’t want me to talk, he wanted to just dive in, and boy did he ever. If you have ever had any type of visceral work, you will know when I say that it HURTS. Deep, deep applied pressure in and around my abdomen. And all kinds of work on my right rib cage and shoulder. Wow. It was intense. He finished up and told us to come back in a couple of days. My question to him was – how come I had never heard of him before and he is in my backyard? And, how come the doctors couldn’t diagnose a problem? He told me that doctors are basically looking for an organic problem, like a tumor or bad blood. Since my problem did not fall in those categories, it basically went undetected. So, what was my problem??????
Lino attributes it to chronic gallstones and Celiac. I was diagnosed with Celiac disease in 2006 after years of suffering. Then, I kept having problems. I ate gluten free as well as dairy free. I should have been ok. But I wasn’t. I had classic gallbladder issues, but no one could diagnose it. I mean classic. It was after about 5 (!!!!!!!!) years that I insisted that I have an ultrasound done. Bingo. Gallstones. Lots and lots of inflammation with Celiac and gallstones. Lino was very insistent about how long my surgery took. It was robotic-assisted and took about an hour. He told me that they should have done the old-fashioned abdominal surgery because my gallbladder needed to be removed miniscule by miniscule piece. Instead, it was yanked out. And, when they do abdominal surgery, they blow you up. So, as Lino explained to me, he believed that my gallbladder looked like a pin cushion with the pins almost pocked through. Every time my gallbladder was needed, it would try to work, but it would get stuck onto my liver with its barbs. So, it would have been better to have the slower surgery to get all the pieces as well as check on my liver. Plus, he (as well as Dr. Justin Lau, the other chiropractor, sports medicine guy) believes that there were now dry patches in my gut as a result of the surgery, so things were stuck together as well as adhesions and scar tissue. I was stuck together. NO WONDER IT HURT SO BAD!!!!!! Every time I moved all of me moved, whether it wanted to or not. When Dr. Lau and Lino would work on me, as they pushed one area of my gut, another would involuntarily move. That was creepy. I was the worst case that Dr. Lau had seen. At least I get a prize for something!!
After I saw Lino on Monday he wanted me to come back on Thursday, July 19. John, my husband, thought it was so good for me that he decided that he needed Lino to check HIM out. Oh brother. So John got one gurney, I got another. Anyway, Lino got to work. As I was sitting there I started to pay attention to my surroundings. I heard groans and moans from other patients. I even heard some yelps. Wow, this is some place. I paid to have this done to me. Pretty soon I was adding my yelps to the mix. What is so funny about this visit, is that Dr. Lau wanted to see what Lino did to me, so we video-taped it!!! I have the footage to prove it. As Lino was working on me he shared that he has 7,000 hours of training and has given 4,000 hours. He sees 12,000 new patients a year with an average of 1.6 visits. Where had he been the last 5 years of my life???? He is about 40 miles away, and yet it was an eternity. He did his thing, I left much sorer than going in, but hopeful.
That night I was crying my eyes out. In this one week my health had taken another turn. I was frustrated, upset, and did not see myself EVER getting healthy. Did God see me? Does He care? Whine. Whine. Whine.
July 20, 2018. It was Friday morning, and I was all by myself. That is rare around here on a Friday. It was about 10 am and I was just sitting down to do some Bible study and prayer. Just then God spoke.
“Kerry. You said you would praise Me if I healed you. Well, I’ve healed you, so start praising.”
He’s right. God is always right. He DID heal me. I knew it right then. I sent a group text to my family at 10:37 am. Yes, I do and will PRAISE HIM.
What happened next was amazing. My phone quacks when it gets a text. It sounded like a duck farm in my house. I was overwhelmed and bawled like a baby. WE crossed a finish line. Me, my family and our hope and love for Jesus crossed a line. We were done. I mean done. Outta here. No more. I am still in awe of that moment. It was surreal and it happened to me.
After my family and I had our moment, I began to contact my family and dear friends who have journeyed with me. So happy. So wonderful. So loved.
One of my dear friends, Lori, called me after I texted, stating that this was way beyond a text. I shared the story. As I was sharing, she was asking God for a confirmation in His Word. She read Jeremiah 17:14
O, LORD, if You heal me, I will be truly healed; if You save me, I will be truly saved. My praises are for You alone.
As she read this I began to cry with a feeling of overwhelmness (I think I just made up a word). YES! God has healed me. But, then Lori explained a bit. She did not intentionally go to that verse. Her Bible fell open to that verse. Okay. More tears, this time both of us. Wow. What a confirmation. If there was any doubt in my mind that I had heard wrong from God, this verse dispelled it.
After my conversation with Lori, I was talking to the Lord. “Lord, could You, would You, give ME a verse to confirm this healing? Yes, You use people to tell others, but this has been a journey between the two of us. Can You speak to me?"
In times of trouble, may the LORD answer your cry. May the name of the God of Jacob keep you safe from all harm. May He send you help from the sanctuary and strengthen you from Jerusalem. May He remember all your gifts and look favorably on your burnt offerings. May He grant your heart's desires and make all your plans succeed. May we shout for joy when we hear of our victory and raise a victory banner in the name of our God. May the LORD answer all your prayers. Now I know that the LORD rescues His anointed king. He will answer him from His holy heaven and rescue him by His great power. Some nations boast of their chariots and horses, but we boast in the name of the LORD our God. Those nations will fall down and collapse, but we will rise up and stand firm. Give victory to our king, O LORD! Answer our cry for help. Psalm 20
I have read this Psalm every month for about 15 years. Every month, and then some. And this was the 20th, so I was reading it. And it hit me right between the eyes. I had sat down to do my own personal Wisdom Search – normally we do this as a family, but I was alone. I knew before I even read it that this was going to be my Word from God. I was a wreck. Yes, everything in this Psalm went straight to my overwhelmed heart.
Some nations boast of their chariots and horses, but WE BOAST IN THE NAME OF THE LORD OUR GOD. Psalm 20:7, emphasis mine
I WILL boast. I will BOAST. I will boast IN THE LORD. Fully and completely. From every mountaintop that I can find. With any person who will listen. And it will come from a very grateful heart. I am so grateful to Jesus from releasing me from my prison. It was a prison. I did not do anything to get there, rather it was a prison built for me.
And I learned a lot.
The reason why this blog is Called Sovereign, is that that is the Name of God stamped on me. He is SOVEREIGN. That means He is on control. He was not surprised by my affliction. He was not wringing His hands in wonder over my predicament. He is in CHARGE. Complete charge. He allowed me to have this affliction so I could learn to press into Him. I could learn the meaning of YOKE. I would love to say that this taught me patience, but that would be stretching it. I did however, learn perseverance. I would be lying to you to say that I never wanted to quit. I don’t have enough fingers to count how many times I was ready to throw in the towel.
But I didn’t.
I ran a marathon. I have never, ever enjoyed running. Why run if someone is not chasing you???? This marathon was different. It had eternal value. There was a price tag on this race. And it was my soul, and my spirit – the place where I live with Jesus. It was refined in a fire. A very hot fire. Did I yell when it got too hot? You bet I did. But, I saw stuff melting away. I saw parts of me that needed to be refined. Purified. I was (and am) still a sinner. And I need His grace every single moment of the day.
Don’t be drunk with wine, because that will ruin your life. Instead be filled with the Holy Spirit. Ephesians 5:18
This verse has become VERY meaningful for me. I want to be filled to overflowing with the Holy Spirit. So much that it oozes out everywhere. I caught a glimpse of that in the suffering. Because at the end of the day, Jesus is really all that matters. I am to please Him, in or out of prison.
So, now what?
I praise Him.
JESUS YOU ARE WONDERFUL, I KNOW THAT FULL WELL.
YOU ARE GOOD AND WHAT YOU DO IS GOOD.
WONDERFUL SAVIOUR, KING OF KINGS AND LORD OF LORDS.
ALMIGHTY. MY REDEEMER. THE LOVER OF MY SOUL. YOU ARE MINE AND I AM YOURS.