GOD WHO SEES ME
It is so easy to think that I am all alone in this. Because I am all alone in my room most of the day, I feel alone a lot. And I think that could be nobody’s fault but my own.
Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise. Philippians 4:8
This needs to be plastered right in front of my eyes at all times. I have got to FIX my mind on the things of God because the things of Kerry are not so good. My eyes need to be fixed on God because He has His eyes fixed on me.
Yes, the God who sees – El Roi. We first hear of this name of God in the story of Hagar in Genesis 16. Hagar was Sarai’s servant. Since Sarai could not conceive, she concocted a plan to have Hagar bear a child for her. But Sarai also treated Hagar very harshly so Hagar ran away. The angel of the LORD found her in the wilderness and questioned why she was there. She shed light on the situation and then the angel of the LORD spoke, “You are now pregnant and will give birth to a son. You are to name him Ishmael (which means God hears) for the LORD has heard your cry." (See Genesis 16:1-12)
It is right after this encounter that Hagar used another name to refer to the LORD – “You are the God who sees me.” Genesis 16:13
Hagar was alone in the wilderness after suffering harsh treatment. She felt alone. Troubled. Unwanted and unaccepted. And yet, God saw her. He had compassion on her. In her chaotic world, God saw her. And Hagar was quick to acknowledge and recognize this fact.
God sees the masses but God also sees the individual. God has compassion on the masses – He sent His only Son to die for the world (John 3:16). He created the world and He created the individual. He sees all, but He also sees me.
Think about that for a moment. Reflect on the Cross for a minute. Jesus had just been beaten, scorned, ridiculed, mocked. He was falsely accused. He was nailed to a cross. And yet He saw the thief next to Him on another cross. There was distraction all around Him. Chaos unimaginable. Noise. Pain. So many things to draw His attention away. And yet, Jesus saw this thief. Saw right through him in fact, and knew exactly what he needed. Forgiveness and grace. And Jesus comforted him with a promise – you shall be with Me in paradise. Instead of seeing the masses of people surrounding the cross, Jesus saw this one man.
I find this little story very tender, powerful and true. God sees the masses, but He also sees me.
In my little world of pain and suffering, doctor visits and procedures, to be seen as an individual with needs, hurts and pain matter so much. To be recognized as a person rather than just another number or another patient in another room, to be called by my name and looked at in the eye. And even more important is to be seen by my loving heavenly Father as a little girl who just needs a hug.
I will end with this: about 8 years ago I had a dream (or a vision actually) that what was very special and still is to this day. It was of the throne room in heaven. God was on His throne and I was to His left, as a little girl, but hiding behind His royal robes and His throne. We were playing a little game of hide and seek. I peered around the throne and caught Him looking at and for me. Our eyes met and God had such a playful, tender look in He eyes. I felt so loved, accepted, wanted and acknowledged. God saw me for me, the one He created to love and to be loved by.
He is indeed a God who sees. A God who sees me.