I am feeble and sore broken: I have roared by reason of the disquietness of my heart. Psalm 38:8 (KJV)
What is it about brokenness that attracts us? Are you more drawn to one in his brokenness or perfection? Do you sit up straighter when she is talking about her struggle than when she shares about her put-together life?
Another question: why do I keep writing about it???
I cannot escape this concept, that’s why. Brokenness is all around me.
I was sent a picture of a baby who only lived a very short time after she was born. She was captured cooing with her eyes wide open. In her brokenness, God’s holiness was displayed – how can that be?
God’s ways are not our ways – and I am constantly reminded of this because of our war-torn, broken world. He is working, He is completing, He is moving in our midst. He is leading and guiding His people. He is displaying His wonder – it is just vastly different than what we expect/want/desire. Notice how I did not say need. God’s wonder is what we need.
Many times, our needs and wants match, but more often than not they don’t. And if we allow ourselves the opportunity to step back and gain perspective, we will see God’s ways are truly best.
In our brokenness, we are more visible – we stand out in a crowd. In our brokenness, we are not able to fade into the background. How is this so?
Think about a broken vessel. Before it was damaged, it was able to hold and contain that which was in it. The water, for example, was poured in, it was housed until it was poured out again. It stayed put.
Nice and tidy.
But have you noticed that nice and tidy can be too, well, nice and tidy? Life tends to be messy with the nice and tidy pushed to the side as if it didn’t belong.
The Psalmist, David, writes that he is disquieted because of his brokenness. He hurts. He is feeble and sore. So relatable. We can identify with these adjectives. When you hear them, you identify immediately with David because you are able to think of times when you were feeble and sore. Lots of examples might flood your memory as you ponder these words.
Then as we read about his disquieted spirit, you identify even more. Why? Because in your life you have moments, lifetimes, of disquiet. Aches. Heartaches. Suffering. Brokenness. And you are indeed anything but quiet in your heart. In fact, you are roaring like David.
I have roared out my pain many times. Whether I am with my Coach and he is adjusting and pulling and poking, or in my bed because turning over with hiking boots in the middle of the night is a blasted chore (which caused a tendon to slip in my shoulder, by the way!!), or when I go down the trail of thinking too much of the suffering – I just roar.
Roars let others know you are there. I don’t know whether lions roar when they are alone – I guess seeing how I’ve not been around any lions other than ones in captivity. But, lions roar to communicate with one another and to warn others.
When I roar, am I saying the same thing? In a way yes. I am communicating with my heavenly Father that I am still here, I hurt and I need attention. My soul, heart and body are in anguish and I need Him.
Another question to contemplate – is a roar a praise or a complaint? I need to ponder that one, because it is not as easy on first glance to answer it.
With a broken vessel, one would assume it is useless. Trash. Unfit for its intended purpose.
Could we use those same words to describe a broken person? Would you say that out loud to some one? Should we?
Why? Because, when one is broken and that one is a follower of Christ, it is only then that LIGHT shines through.
Jesus spoke to the crowd once more and said, “I am the light of the world.” John 8:12
Words have their place, but brilliant silence is powerful. By allowing my roar to be swallowed up by His light, His glory is on display for all to see and God’s wonder goes out into all the world. And it’s marvelous.
I want to be put together. I like nice and tidy. I prefer all my ducks in a row – especially when it comes to my health. But, God’s Light – His Son – cannot shine through as thoroughly from an intact vessel. Oh, light is still shining – but out at the top. Jesus is the Light of the world; meant to poured out in all directions. He loves to display His wonder working in all directions to be far reaching to His people.
I may not like the concept of a messy, broken vessel. But God uses it more to display His
Will I allow Him to use me in my feebleness and pain and let me roar unto Him as I am being poured out for His glory? Will I roar out THY WILL BE DONE in honor, praise and glory?
Heavenly Father, I do thank You that Your ways are not my ways. I would not be the same person I am today if it were up to me. I would be about my comfort and my self, self, self. I truly want to be about You, You, You. Take my broken feeble body Lord and use it for Your glory. May Your Light, Jesus, shine brightly through me. Yes, I may roar, but may it be roars of worship, thanksgiving and praise. You are so worthy. AMEN